i have a “Cincinnati Enquuirer ” newspaper from July 23rd , 1989 . this paper is mainly about the life of johnny bench after he passed away in 1983 . im courious as to if it is worth anything . its in pretty good condition considering its age . thank you .

Now, there are a few things to note about this inquiry.

* Newspapers are not worth anything. Come on, man, everyone knows that.

* Johnny Bench is still alive.

* Hang on a second. If Dear Reader actually has a newspaper from 1983 that has a story about Johnny Bench’s death, it probably is worth something.