August 2011
2 posts
What's It All Worth?
i have a “Cincinnati Enquuirer ” newspaper from July 23rd , 1989 . this paper is mainly about the life of johnny bench after he passed away in 1983 . im courious as to if it is worth anything . its in pretty good condition considering its age . thank you .
Now, there are a few things to note about this inquiry.
* Newspapers are not worth anything. Come on, man, everyone knows...
Just Your Typical Nazi
This guy, who in his online submission form claims to be part of the Nazi Party of Central Massachusetts, really wants to read his local news. And exercise his right to free speech. And maaaaaybe burn a cross on the newspaper’s lawn.
XXXXXXX.com is not allowing me access. I will sue yuo cocksuckers and seek the ACLU’s blessing. Grow a pair you bunch of fucking bithces.
May 2011
1 post
3 tags
Readers Gone Hog Feral
I don’t want to alarm anyone, but I think one of this newspaper’s readers is feral. Hide yer daughters!
Get this through your pointy skull: it’s FERAL, not WILD! There are no wild pigs anywhere in the Western Hemisphere! All pigs are exotic species, and when released into the wild they are FERAL, not WILD! Their behavior is wild, they live in the wild, but they are not WILD!...
April 2011
1 post
4 tags
Horse crap
If you don’t like the Kentucky Derby, well, you best high-tail it out of Louisville for the next few weeks. This reader knows what I’m talking about:
Hey, hope there’s a story in tomorrow’s paper about the state of Uncle Mo’s stool. Yes it’s that time of year, when you morons overwhelm us with horse racing minutiae that only … well, maybe someone cares...
January 2011
1 post
You suck, and so does your website
I have been told by several residents in [town] of an article about my son in Saturday’s paper. I tried to buy a copy of the the paper and the whole town was sold out. S0 I tried to read it on this stupid web site and it isn’t here. So I guess I am just venting until I can get a copy on Tuesday. I Just wanted someone to know how bad your reporting sucks and the web page as well.
...
July 2010
3 posts
Dreams can come true
This letter actually ran in a daily newspaper.
To the editor: For the past four nights of seven nights, I have had the darndest dream that scares me in afterthought. My wife was in need of an over-the-counter drug that helps her sleep so I went to the nearest drug store. Upon arriving at the parking lot I was amazed to see 200-300 cars seeking parking spaces. Also, a number of people running in...
5 tags
Finally, someone has the real scoop on why Ken...
2 tags
Thought this would be an appropriate time to post...
June 2010
3 posts
1 tag
The grammar gods are crying
Attention, PR folks: If you want a media outlet to give you some pub, try using spellcheck. And Learn how to Use Capitalization properly. And become familiar with the English language. That is all.
EDITOR: Please help us get a write up on PLAYER A our Record breaking QB for for Three years now, he used to play for the PRO TEAM. Please give us a write up on our game on the 26th of June 2010 at...
1 tag
Football boner
A little background: COACH leaves UNIVERSITY A for UNIVERSITY B. Newspaper covering UNIVERSITY A sometimes publishes stories about COACH’s goings-on at UNIVERSITY B. This, of course, is wholly unacceptable.
Please stop writing stories about COACH. I could care less. I dont know if one of your writers has a boner for UNIVERSITY B or COACH, but its annoying. How about more stories on the...
1 tag
Slanted designer
It is clear that the reporter designed the article to be slanted. And it was also slantedly designed with just the right amount of white space.
I should not be surprised but this is now at least the 3rd article on this issue and there has never been so much as a “veiled” attempt to talk to those whom deal with this issue every day and agree action should be taken to insure the safety of our...
May 2010
2 posts
1 tag
Five listens to this voicemail, and still not sure...
April 2010
11 posts
1 tag
The nerve!
High school all-star teams bring out the best in everyone involved. A real feel-good feature in the paper, don’t you think?
Congrats to all the athletes for their very successful seasons. Special kudos to all those HIGH SCHOOL NAME athletes mentioned.
I can’t believe the XXXXXXX had the nerve to leave the rest of the HIGH SCHOOL NAME kids off the honor roll, what a farce.
1 tag
That's an NCAA sport?
Not sure what “gynmastics” is, but it sounds kinda dirty.
Boy’s do have Gynmastics and it is an NCAA sport. Too bad the NEWSPAPER refuses to cover the fact that we have over 10 Nationally ranked Boys headed to Indy in May to represent the State of XXXXX. And these kids have muscles and are in the weight room as much as the football players. And they are friends kids and NOT...
In a perfect world, there would be fishing reports...
1 tag
Cirque de risque
Family-friendly entertainment? Apparently not, according to this enraged reader/circus-goer.
This is our third year of going to the circus and each year we get reserved seating. This year, I debated going due to the poor performance last year. What has happened to the circus? My family went to the 4:30 p.m. show on March 26. First thing my 3-year-old asked is, where are all the animals? What...
No 'bagging zone
The following memo was sent from a managing editor to the entire newsroom, no doubt the result of some serious (and likely justified) paper hating. Mark this down in the category of “things a managing editor never imagined he would have to tell his staff.”
To: NEWSROOM
Subject: Please do not use this term
Please avoid “tea baggers” in print and online, in stories and in places like...
Let's play pretend
You’ll pretend to be the “journalist,” she’ll pretend to be the “reader.” Isn’t this fun?!
If your columns are considered humorous, I must have missed something. I managed to get through the first one, but the second one was just not worth the read. You sound more angry (and sophomoric) than anyone I’ve read in a long time.
I’m sorry my...
The risk of rounding up
While calling to get some information on a sentencing correction, the woman’s boyfriend answered the phone and chastised me for “sensationalizing” another sentence from the same day. Here’s what I know: 1) The judge said a gentleman’s “staggering previous record” took up 6 1/2 pages of the pre-sentence investigation. 2) I wrote “nearly...
You are killing the newspaper. You bastards! Part...
You are killing the newspaper. You bastards! Part...
4 tags
Letter to a 'loveless leftist'
An impassioned reader makes use of all the formatting options her email account offers and an arsenal of 50-cent words to get her point across. Her point? Read on to find out.
(Spoiler alert! She is not pleased with the journalist in question.)
COLUMNIST: I find your writing to be cruel, illiterate and the pot-calling-the-kettle-black in issues of prejudice & bigotry. Perhaps...
Now THAT'S how you 'resign'
Prepare yourselves for what could be the best resignation letter of all time. Of all time. Aaaaaand go:
I know this is a horribly shitty thing to do so near a deadline, and will result in a lot of work and stress for one or more person, but I have to “resign” as stringer. I realized (only today) that I am both unqualified for and wholly uninterested in prep sport coverage. Also, though...
March 2010
35 posts
1 tag
Have a nice day
“If only,” indeed.
If only I could forward you voice mails. This one ended with a guy telling me to have a nice day because at the rate we’re going, we’re not going to have many of them left!
Redneck radio analyst
For some reason, people often direct their complaints about one medium to another medium. Case in point:
What is MLB RADIO ANALYST’S problem? Is he Bi-Polar? I’m referring to his tirade against MLB TEAM fans. If it was not for his dad getting him a job he would probably be working as a dishwasher. I heard the recording of him on the internet, and he sounds like a real redneck.
2 tags
Supervolcanic threat
While this wasn’t a complaint aimed at media outlet, it is a complaint/nature-based threat on a public figure which was CC’ed to a media outlet. Besides, it’s just too awesome not to share with you all.
Subject: Republican Inflammatory Rhetoric Dear Mr POLITICIAN … just wanted to let you know that I’m praying for your personal safety, as well as for the safety of...
3 tags
Profane! Putrid! Pornographic!
Exclamation point! Man, doesn’t that make you want to read the column in question?
I am writing in pure disgust and shock at the XXX column by COLUMNIST! How profane and low life, putrid to have this in a Sunday newspaper! We are thinking of cancelling our subscription. She should be fired! What are you thinking? What pornographic filth! Shame on ALL OF YOU! —A disgruntled reader!!! ...
Complain and you shall receive
Where’s his bracket, doggone it?! (Also, isn’t it great that he refers to reading the newspaper as a waste of time … to the very people who put together the newspaper?)
Dear EDITOR A, EDITOR B, & EDITOR C, You guys must know (I hope) that one of the big highlights of March Madness and “the” essential tool for morning-coffee tracking of the NCAA men’s...
More white people, stat!
As relayed to us by yet another alert newsroom employee:
A lady called our managing editor the other day to complain that we show too many minorities in our photos. Her exact words were, “I’m sick of opening the paper to see these minorities in there!!!!” She stopped short of saying she preferred white people only in the paper, but we got the gist. It’s been over a week since she called in and...
A little love for Paper Haters
Reader/follower/fan Erica Smith wanted to get to the bottom of our little project, calling it the “new must-read for journos” on her blog, graphicdesignr.net. Check it out.
Sometimes, it feels good to do nothing
Why can u not follow the local kids. PLAYER from HIGH SCHOOL was in the Elite 8. Readers go elsewhere for news like i did below. Your paper does nothing.
2 tags
One out of two ain't bad
Telling your readers that there is a football game at STADIUM this saturday - great. Is it so hard to tell your readers how much tickets are and where to buy them? Poor job.
1 tag
Sour losers
After years of research and this reader’s response, it has been decided that the word “sour” is, in fact, the most awful, negative, degrading word in the English language.
Gentlemen-
I spent the last 24 hours deciding whether or not I should write this…..obviously, I have chosen to……
I feel it is important to note my disappointment with the choice of words used in the Headline...
We'll be sure to tell him
This reader disagreed with the reporter’s game analysis. Imagine that.
TEAM A always kicks everyone’s tail. TEAM B was no physical game. TEAM A beats everyone. You can tell REPORTER this …
Lights in the sky
Readers think newspaper folk are all-seeing and all-knowing. Thus, e-mails like this one exist.
Around 1:30am Sunday morning we were heading south on STREET Rd in NEIGHBORHOOD. To the South and East we saw a bright greenish blue light illuminate the sky. And then a few seconds later it happened again. It wasn’t lightening, there was no thunder, and the color of the light was this strange...
Crack journalism
Oh, the horror!
I am horrified to see you actually ran the picture on your H.S football blog of PLAYER A laughing with caption underneath that said “Did you really think I’d pick SCHOOL A over SCHOOL B…” Even for you guys, who have disdain for all things SCHOOL A Football this was a low blow. Why can’t you get it in your heads, nobody gives a rip about SCHOOL B. This...
Anyone want to be a columnist?
This reader suggests firing the sports columnist and replacing him with someone else. Yeah, right. Newspapers don’t fill vacant positions anymore.
The COLUMNIST Personal Crusade to Run NFL PLAYER Out of Town is an embarassment to your site. If you have no one else who can fill up this column, please post a job vacancy notice in COLUMNIST’s spot. Someone with football knowledge might be...
How to piss off a beat writer
A textbook example of how to piss off a beat writer. (And to paraphrase Jim Rome, when someone says they mean no disrespect, they actually do mean disrespect.)
REPORTER, First, appreciate your writing. Enjoy reading your updates, but I have a question…and please know I mean no disrespect, but ask seriously out of curiousity but why when I read your posts your information is always sourced...
Clone them?
This isn’t really a complaint, per se, but it’s a rather odd request.
How can i get a copy of the TEAM A boys basketball team?
Call Nell Carter ...
… because this guy needs a break.*
I can’t believe HOW VERY LITTLE you guys have on TEAM A (basketball) … I can get almost as much info from OTHER NEWSPAPER then you guys. Give me a break.
* Does anyone still get that reference? No? Well, watch this.
1 tag
Did this really happen?
This might be a first in the history of newspapers: A reader admits he was wrong. Let’s bronze it for posterity.
I recently sent in a complaint about your coverage of 2 TEAM HS state champs. I withdraw my complaint. i did not know that there was a late edition that came out. thank you very much for coming out with the late edition and giving attentiont to a much deserved state champ WRESTLER...
2 tags
The decent streak ends
Everyone is entitled to a bad week once in a while, right?
I thought you guys did a decent job at covering high school football… until this week.
1 tag
Weird. I didn’t even know there were still...
1 tag
Please submit a family portrait to the sports...
No photos of her son? How dare you!
I am a bit disappointed in the NEWSPAPER X. The headline “TEAM A rallies past TEAM B” is great, but where are the photos of the TEAM A MASCOTS? At first glance through the newspaper, I missed the entire article because there were no photos of the TEAM A kids. And I know PHOTOGRAPHER X took an array of photos, because I was there. I am the mother of...
2 tags
NFL, girls' soccer ... what's the difference?
Ya hear that, NFL players? No one is special!
I resent the fact that NFL PLAYER X gets special treatment. He is a member of the team and is no more important than anyone else in the group. When I coached girl’s soccer many years ago, I told my team that everyone was a part of the team and no one person was special. In other words…it takes everyone to make a team and there is no...
Shame, shame
It’s widely known that “shame on you” is the favorite “burn” phrase of grandmothers everywhere.
So if it’s not to much trouble please update your web-page and show some respect to the local CITY Public High Schools. If not : SHAME ON YOU !
Help! If anyone out there has a clue what this...
2 tags
Tell us how you really feel
It’s hard to tell if this reader really likes the reporter or really hates the reporter. If only he/she would have been more explicit with his/her feelings.
Miss REPORTER, you are a Socialist Liberal Democrat scumbag and when the journalism business goes through another wave of lay-offs, I hope you’re at the top of the axing list. Journalists like you are what’s wrong with this...
2 tags
Great job! You suck!
Hey, once in a while readers will give newspapers praise for their hard work. Sort of.
I just wanted to let you know, that your story and pictures on WRESTLER, state champ from TEAM X High School, were perfect … Athough this was great, the other local wrestling coverage stunk.